And so I stayed.

I stay,

With you.

I agreed to stay,

Cause I agreed to let go of the hurt.

Our contact now,

Gift of a messenger,


You felt we were distant,


You never knew why!

Rolling my eyes,

Wondering how you never could understand?


I’m an angel,

forgiving easily,

Is a habit,

Comes easily to me,

One step towards me,

Thousand steps towards you.

And I’m still hurt,

Best friends are meant to be there,

There for you,

When your at the verge of breaking down!

Best friends,


Even without explanations!

I guess it isn’t true!

But wait!

Another best friend,

Always knew!

Your type is different!

The type,

Never understands grave issues,

Never knows how to read,

Never introspects.

I guess,

That’s your type.

But hey!

I stayed!

stayed cause knowing you care,

Even a little bit,

Was enough for me.

And staying,

Was easy.


I didn’t just love you,

I loved your family too,

Especially your mom!

Saying goodbye to you,


Goodbye to them.

And it’s easy to stay,



Always ends in tears.

So I stayed.

Cause it’s easy to fall back into old habits,

Rather than making new,

And so I stayed.

Cause I stayed.

And I’m trying to forgive,

that’s how it’s always been,

So it’s not new to me.

Was always habitual of forgiving,

Little issues,

Than it grew to larger issues.

I guess,

I do it,

Cause it’s easy!

Or maybe,

Just maybe,

I love you enough,

To let it all go,

Again and again!

Nothing special.

Use to think,

The world revolves around me!

Learned the hard way,

It doesn’t.

Use to think,

I’m loved to infinity and back!

These thoughts,

They vanish.

Just as quickly they come.

Mornings starts with groans,

Nights end with tears.

Once I was afraid of dark places,

Now I find peace in them.

Thank you,


And dear classmates,

I know now I’m nothing special,

Its hurts in the start,

Slowly seeks in the reality!





Honestly doesn’t bother much,

For ugly don’t find fairylands,

It resembles sorrow and darkness,

Truly I resemble that.

My image in mirror reflects,


I use to love me,

Wondering what went wrong,

Now I hate me.


I don’t seek you anymore,

I crave for peace,


Sorry if this piece makes no sense

But then again,

Don’t care enough to be sorry.

I care about nothing,

Cause no one cares about me,

stopped giving fucks,

When heart bleeds,

No one sees,

And I?

Can’t see anyone.

Darkness and emptiness,

Fill my heart,

As I slowly sink under water,

slowly dying.

Love’s price

Sat on my balcony floor,

I asked myself a question.

Everything has a price right?

Everything has a price.

What’s the price of love?

They say its priceless!

But honestly,

For this price less love,

We pay the biggest price.

At times,

Giving away ourselves.

Other times,

Compromising with ourselves.

Paying the biggest price for love.


Why do I, me and you,

Crave it so bad?

Knowing it’d requires change?

They say love changes you for the best,

Ask me?

Its all bullshit.

Complete utter bullshit.

Then the say they,

love that requires you to change,

Isn’t love.

To me its

Fucking bullshit,

Unconditional love doesn’t exist!

Now does it?

Parents want,

Scholar daughter or son,

Girls want handsome boyfriend,

Boys want sexy girlfriend,

After marriage,

The girl is supposed to leave her parents,

Rich boyfriend \girlfriend,

Intelligent boyfriend \ girlfriend

My Daughter/ son must me skinny!

The price we pay for love!

Liking something you absolutely despise,

Hating something your heart once pumped for,

Leaving something you cherish the most,

Staying by something you hate the most.

The price we pay for love.

The price we pay for acceptance,

The price we pay for admiration,

By the ones we love.


Did we ever once notice the heart?

Talked about it?

Were satisfied by just a pure beautiful heart?

No right?

I don’t just blame the ones I love here ,

I also blame myself.

For I might be doing the same to them.

I’m just simply letting everyone know,


Absolutely nothing!

Is fucking free in this world!

Lost dreams…


I call them nightmares!

Keeps you from sleeping,

Keeps you restless,

Through the night.


They say dream big.

Well don’t!

Is what I’d say.

When dreams crumble,

You crumble,

You bleed,

You sink.

Trust me..

It kills you alive!

Lost Dreams!

Mark the start for,

Depression or denial.

Anger or resentment

And its better when reflected on others,

Than yourself.

Cause when on yourself

Self pity drowns you.

Cause with dreams,

Lies our self worth.

Dreams broke me,

I’m broken.

My brain screams

Stop dreaming!

Stop dreaming!

Stop dreaming!

My heart says

Its not the end yet!

Not the end yet!

But eyes seem to know the pain,

Hearts willing to smile,

Eyes willing to hide,

Brain willing to protect.

What ever I choose,

One thing is for sure,

That girl I used to know,

The me I use to know,

Is dead.

Oh how I wish,

I could meet her once again!

Oh how I wish,

I could see her smile once again.

Oh how I wish,

I could be her once again.


Can you guess who killed her?


Phone sex or a meditation to soul?

I called you, yeah

But for phone sex,

We said our hellos,

We masturbated together,

You got me wet,

I got you hard,

But none of us came,

I still wonder why?

I didn’t moan,

For you the same way I did for him,

I still wonder why?

I still wonder why?


My story ends with roleplaying,

But for you I stayed,

I stayed and we talked,

We talked about life,

Never once hesitating to tell you about me,

I admit it was phone sex,

But why wasn’t it just that?

Talking for hours,

Like we knew each other by heart.

Was it you or was it me?

That went along the lie,

Just to confess.

Just confess the truth,

We lied.

I told you I was sad,

I told you life’s been killing me,

I told you I had been through a rough day,

I told you many little details about me and my life.

Laughing and giggling,

Time passed by,

In just a few hours,

We weren’t stranger anymore.

In just a few hours I confessed so much,

And you listened.

In the back of my mind,

I just needed someone to talk to,

Phone sex,

Just an excuse.

You knew that too.

Maybe your lonely too,

For you stayed.

Never knowing my age, my name,

You still promised to stay.

And yeah we know,

This isn’t love.

Its everything to me though,

been on the road for far too long,

You make me feel like home.

Beautiful creature,

Let’s talk again sometime,

There’s so much for you to know,

There’s so much for me to know,

There’s so much more to both of us,

Even if we are using each other,

For release or

For killing loneliness,

I still

Hope to hear your voice again,

Hope to have one less lonely night.

Too late

To you,

My eyes sparkle.

To you,

My lips smile.

To you

My cheeks flush.

To you,

I’m dancing.

To you,

I’m partying.

To you,

I’m happy.

I’ll invite you behind the scenes someday,

And I’ll tell you,

My eyes are moist.

I’ll Tell you,

My lips are locked.

I’ll Tell you,

My cheeks are wet.

I’ll Tell you,

My body resembles the dead.

I’ll Tell you

I’m dead inside.

And then you’ll cry too and ask?

How can I save you?

I’ll look up,

Laughing as if I’m mad,

With sad and hurt filled eyes,

I’ll say,

You’re a little too late.

I hate you mom and dad and myself

 (Warning : This is not a poem just a rant)

I’m sorry for not being good enough.

I’m sorry for wanting to eat junk food all the time even though I’m fat.

Being fat is a crime.

I finally get that now.
I’m sorry for not being a scholar.

I suck at school.

I’m sorry. 

And I hope you knew that my passions are opposite to being a scholar.

I’m still giving it my hundred percent ain’t I? 

I’m not.

Even though I left all my true pleasures for you.

And you both failed as parents,

Just like I failed as a daughter.

I love but I hate you too.

And these I see the love disappearing.
You dont have time for me,

Neither did you notice that I’m dying Inside.

Its really funny how you seriously never notice what’s going inside me. 

Like never.
All you ever want is good grades.
And in this race of life I lost myself.

Doesn’t matter to you, now does it?
I really really really really hate myself.

And I really really do hate you as well.

No one!

You dont see.
You never will.
And i wonder if I’ll ever heal,
Down the road,
Im fading away.
ever tried to trace my shadow?
I know.

Seems like these days,
Everything i ever do is wrong.
I am all wrong.

Parents pray for your best,
Im sorry
But they wont ever be someone,
Who listens to your rants.

Im sorry,
I asked for your time.
Cause i have so much to say
No ears to listen.

You all simply say,
Go! Work hard.
But when on my knees,
Even one hand,
Is hard to be seen.

Tears fall down my eyes,
I wipe them away.
Sometimes sleep takes over,
Next morning the sign still remains.
Forcing myself back on my knees,
When i can hardly breathe.

Sounds depressing to you?
Its my reality!
Makes your heart heavy with sadness?
My heart carries these scares.

For if these words make you feel even a bit of pain,
Ever thought about me?
The one in pain?

Now i really wonder,
Can they really not see,
Like at all?
All the scares behind my face?
For i dont even try and fake smiles anymore.


No more explanations,

No more details,

What you see is true,

That’s me.
Tired of explaining,

Tired of hearing,

I leave,

I stay away.
The barriers are rising,

They stay invisible,

Until one day,

They’re all up

And there is no going back.
I’m a rebel,

I talk shit.

Open your eyes and look closely,

You’ll find your answers,

Deep within me.

My mouth is foul but honest. 

Its only dishonest,

When I say I’m alright.

Its only dishonest,

When I say I’m happy.

With no more words left,

I say goodbye.

Little do you,

Goodbye means,

I’m closing another door.

Like a shadow,

I’ll fade away.

With no traces to be traced.

I wonder if you’ll Ever feel me gone.

The twist of fate!

We keep meeting again and again,

When we don’t want to.
The more I run away,

The closer I get to you.
 I hated you.

Maybe I still do.
I needed you,

Maybe I still do.
I loved you,

Maybe I still do.
All these emotions,

Take their roll on me,

Each time I see you just like that,

Just like that fate takes its troll,

And just like that, my emotions are havoc.
For all the unfulfilled promises,

I remember you. 

I remember the hurt,

You left,

And I caused you.

I’m sorry,

You say sorry too,

But still the space remains.

We are professional now,

But I’m dying to vent.

You don’t express much,

But you said your sorry.

I know you mean it,

I know you do.

But the trust is broken,

The bond is gone.
I’m dying alone,

In a way, getting stronger.

I’m living alone, all on my own.

With no one by my side,

I’m still breathing.

Teaching myself,

This is the real world.

Trust no one, 

Break no one’s,

Live alone,

Live happy,

For we came alone,

For we are gonna die alone.